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Pay careful attention to anything you try to hide

gretchin rubinWhen this picture landed in my news feed from Gretchen Rubin,, this morning I knew the time was right for me to share this post that has been mulling around in my head for a few weeks now! As I sit here full of cold and with a challenged pelvic floor! Pay careful attention to what you are trying to hide – me I was hiding the fact I am less than perfect, that I over commit myself and have down days where I look in the mirror and think not sure! BUT WHY? I am all about strong is the new skinny and don’t let perfect be the enemy of good! and boy this fraudulent feeling wasn’t helping my wellness.

As a fitness professional, and one who wants to inspire and motivate others to have a happy and healthy life there are times in one’s life when your circumstances can leave you feeling a little fraudulent and incongruent with your external portrayal of yourself, and that I guess is what I was hiding!

This Xmas I have spent found myself crying into my diner, being evil to my incredibly patient and forgiving partner and pushing, pushing, pushing when I should be resting , resting, resting – well finally my body got me to listen in the only way it knew how – it wiped me out and made me be still and I shouldn’t hide this as how did I get here – by not following my own advice!!!

Now don’t get me wrong it wasn’t about eating, drinking and being merry (although the way I feel I wish I had gone crazy at the all you can eat buffets on holiday) it was about not balancing my emotional and physical energy, trying to be perfect and not taking time to chillax, being on the lap top too late and forgetting to eat! Yes when I get stressed (aka busy) I forget to eat and that is not nourishing!!!!

So just how did we get here after a FABulous holiday where we ate bountifully from the salad bar and drank loads of water, and are the kinda people who take our turmeric, garlic powder, chia, coconut oi on holiday with us and I came home feeling great – other than the fact I had a real body dysmorphic moment (well more than one) as I hated the way I looked in my lovely bikini – I mean my abs weren’t like Davina’s and I was really hard on myself about the fact I should have tried harder before my holiday!! I had to have some very strong words with myself otherwise I would have ruined our holiday going back to somewhere I thought I had left behind where my whole worth is dictated by how flat my stomach is!!!!!

Dan and I had a conversation about the fact I “hate the way I look” and he like I am sure many men have found themselves telling their partners that he loved me just the way I was and that I am actually much happier and more balanced lately – hmmmm maybe this size and shape suits me in more ways than I give it credit for – as one of my mantras is to be happy, healthy and inspirational and trust me I have been skinny and miserable! A very good friend confirmed this when I popped in to see her – I may not be the smallest she has seen me BUT I look so much better!

When we got home after a horrible late arrival home we rushed around like idiots as I had decided to book in some home improvements just before Xmas – yes I know (oh and did I mention we had builders in until 8pm on the Saturday night before we flew?) So we had no down time and BANG Dan was knocked out – On that 1st day back I hardly drank any water, got totally stressed (busy stress rather than horrible stress (, forgot to eat and went to bed at midnight back up at 6:30 to let the builder in ran around taught 3 classes and then Wednesday morning BANG I was down and out but fighting it every step of the way! We cancelled Xmas day as we didn’t want to spread our germs and I had my melt down over Xmas diner – sheer frustration and physically worn out!

Oh and all the sneezing and coughing has severely challenge my pelvic floor – I am painting a picture of total wellness here and everything I stand for is being challenged as we come to the end of 2015! and that’s a good thing as I can reflect and review ready for 2016.

I taught on Sunday morning as I couldn’t let my clients down, even though I had let myself down, and the shame when one of my clients said – you are sick with all the immune bosting food you eat!!! UMMM yes and the fraudulent feeling rose to the surface but I kept it bottled as I know it’s the stress and lack of sleep that wiped my immune system out and this is the thing ladies and gentlemen it doesn’t matter how well you eat if you don’t look after your emotional and physical wellbeing the stress will always trump the good food and “on point nutrition” and this is where I think so many people get frustrated with their healthy eating – because if you don’t look after all the components that make up total wellbeing you will feel like you are running through treacle!

So this week’s been all about drinking lots of water to keep my system hydrated and my cells happy, lots of green juice so flooding my body with healing ant-oxidants, and ginger shots, doing coconut oil and turmeric oil pulls to keep my throat happy followed by gargling with sea salt water, and drinking copious amounts of ginger and turmeric tea with lemon, coconut oil and Manuka honey. I have been using some of my raw food recipes so again getting lots of live healing enzymes in my body – cashew nut cheese, raw hydrated crackers and soaked raisins and cherries. Fish and chicken with veggies and some delicious lamb – so bringing all I know to the table!

Nightly lemon and garlic shots, with carrot, beet, ginger, apple and turmeric shots! The turmeric has huge anti-inflammatory properties and works as well as any pain killers according to research and garlic is a natural antibiotic which helps keep coughs and colds away, and it is known to help strengthen the immune system and help keep the heart happy and healthy.

There has been no sugar or dairy going in as these are both mucus forming and I need to stabilise my condition, plus they both knock your immune system for 6! I did sneak a little in before I got sick- mmmmmm maybe not the best idea when running on empty!

I have also been going to bed at 10:00pm and talking through with Dan just what an evil witch I have been – when I am not in evil witch mode and that has helped us move through this together, as has keeping my blood sugars more balanced.

So what have I learnt for there has to be learning and sharing rather than hiding!

  1. I need to put my own oxygen mask on 1st (sounds familiar)
  2. Perfect can get in the way of good enough and I know I am enough!
  3. A FABulous body comes from nourishment not punishment
  4. Keeping your blood sugars balanced stops you being evil to those you love including yourself!
  5. Shame as Brene Brown says comes from two place “who do you think you are?” and not “good enough” well I am Mairi Taylor and like everyone else I am doing my best and my best is good enough! (

2016 is all about doing that which fills me with JOY! food, exercise, people and thoughts and planning my year so I don’t over commit myself!


One Response to “Pay careful attention to anything you try to hide”

  1. Mairi Taylor

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and relate to my blog! I too am looking forward to a year of JOY!


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